Kids dealing with anxiety

You wouldn’t think that kids experience stress or anxiety but in fact they do and at more alarming rates than ever before. I don’t have statistics to back that up but from the many kids I have seen in my office I see it a lot. Which surprised me.

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. (1) We have all experienced this type of symptoms from time to time. But human beings are different than any other type of creature. We can think about that anxiety and ruminate and store it in memory a lot better than any other creature. What does this have to do with anything you may ask? Good question. Through my own studies of anxiety and how the brain works we all have the capability of storing memory. This shouldn’t surprise you.

However in my treatment of patients I can see how anxiety affects your physical body. For example. When you lay down you don’t need the muscles that help you stand up to be “on” because you are not standing. But when most people lay down on the table these muscles are “on”. This is the physical manifestation of stress and anxiety in your physical body.

So what does this have to do with anxiety in children? Well everything. Kids are being exposed to multiple different types of pressure from social media to peer pressure. Peer pressure is nothing new but it gets magnified from social media. Everything is on display and you cannot take your mind off of what everyone is doing or not doing. When kids are exposed to this they don’t have a proper way of dealing with this because their brain development is not up to the adult brain.

So compound a heightened sense of “I have to be perfect” with “how do I deal with this?” and you have the perfect storm for kids to be under an immense amount of anxiety and stress and not know how to deal with it. This is something that kids shouldn’t have to mess with.

So what can we do? I’m glad you asked. The rest of the blog post will talk about ways to decrease the amount of anxiety burden on kids and strategies to help prevent things in the future.

Active Listening

We think we listen well even when talking with other adults but that is actually not the case. We hear them but we don’t actually listen. Kids want to talk to you their parents. So the best thing we can do is to get rid of the phones and distractions and actually listen to them. Even if you set a specific time period of 30 minutes where they get your undivided attention then do it. They will feel loved and appreciated and they can gain insight into how you handle certain things as well.

Spend time doing something they love

This one is hard for me as well so don’t feel like you have to do it perfectly. Kids mostly want to spend time with you. They don’t care if you make a million bucks or drive fancy cars or are a doctor or lawyer. What they cherish most is your attitude toward spending time with them. Trust me even if you are with them they know you aren’t actually there with them. Kids are smart. They constantly are taking in things from their environment to see how things work. They just don’t verbalize it much. So when you promise time with your children and don’t follow up with that, it stings. This is the most important thing to remember from all of this spend time and be present with your kids. This one thing will change the way they handle stress because they know you are always there and will be present.

Take care of yourself

You might be thinking what does this have to do with my kids? Your kids model what they see in you. You are the medium they see life through all the time. So if mom and dad are stressed and anxious all the time then they will model that behavior because it is their normal. I’m not saying this happens in every circumstance but if you experience anxiety and deal with it in healthy ways your kids are more than likely going to be more open to dealing with that rather than explode or self medicate.

I speak from experience even though I have been a parent for only 4 short years. These things have helped the most. You are their parents and you are the most influential person in their lives. It won’t just magically disappear but life will be smoother and the bond that you produce by actually being present in your kids lives will help them to deal with the stress and anxiety of life. You won’t regret the actual time spent with your kids. It comes back in dividends.

Cheers!